Thursday, September 25, 2008

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Pieces: Chapter VI (Domestic, Bratislava, dreams)

[6] - 25/9/2008, from a personal email

Cara [..],

from Bratislava I came back and, believe it or not, even with something new. The new features are basically two: I have more hours at work, and change roommates [...].
We start from the second, just to mock the order: back at home, listening to the voice mail and messages there is between that of my landlord asks me to explain: it seems the neighbors have complained for a night of noise, much noise, people in the backyard at 5 am, and then things are incomprehensible to my French but including phone seems to have understood the word "police", which I did not need translation. The next morning, I leave for work that they sleep (at least fall routinely at 4 am) and leave them a sheet that said, the owner called me and told me that the neighbors have complained, it is recalled that in day to find out more, which was not at all happy. Among other things there is to know that there had been problems with neighbors (as well as with me ...), and that was the first time they complained that happened in eight months. And I had already made the speech to the girls that our living together could also stop there, and that they had asked me a second chance. Well, I come home, and next to my spreadsheet is also a booklet with addresses and phone numbers marked. Beak girls, ask their explanations, and then very calmly say it's time to stop: the answer is that they are already looking for another apartment. The red card if they are given alone, in fact. And so finally return, I get up a weight.

News number one pass from 21 to 33 hours. Practically a full time job. A full-time I will concentrate on unnecessary work, no intellectually stimulating and they do not give a damn: excellent results of my studies. But that's okay for now rest in Paris, and I keep on wondering what to do with my life, hoping someday to have a sudden illumination, and never know that the money they put aside working I could help them to also ' lighting, when it presents itself.

[...] When I travel, however, have an obligation to bring the magnet then the mother (at home there a whole collection of all magnets magnetically attached to the boiler). In Bratislava it was pretty easy, but not always the case. In Morocco I found quite by accident last shop I entered the last day just a few hours before taking the plane. In Romania, however, is not the custom, apparently, the only place where I happened to find one is Brasov, the mountain resort town in central Romania, in full Carpathians, where among other things it was bitterly cold (like less than fifteen or so), and that seems to be one of the most tourist destinations in Romania popular (especially for skiers). Then I go to the kiosk, taking the magnet of Brasov (which reminds me 'when his name was Aldo says Ayeye Brasorf in Three Men and a leg) and try to put it to the seller my presence, with magnet in hand, and my intention to pay. Five minutes, and that I do not shit. Then I'm leaving. With the magnet, passed easily in your pocket. In practice, a time when all the media campaign in Italy rode anti-Romanian, Italian I've stolen a magnet in Romania, in front of my friends (one Italian and one Romanian), which of course they laughed out loud the obvious paradox.

then Bratislava (Slovakia, a bit 'to the east of Austria, type low hour from Vienna), not the 'I have even seen. We have plenty of time to eat and drink in pubs. Mangiatone meat and various local dishes, and drinking beer czech and various local spirits (one with pears, plums another, another cherry, and one frankly I did not understand - but wikipedia says these indecipherable to me fruits). In short, we were always stunned at the end of the evening. We have seen a lot of tv Slovak, czech and Austrian capendoci not nothing in any of the three cases, and we even had a movie night where we have seen before in a comedy czech sottotiolata English, very funny, and then a film of Bud Spencer and Terence Hill, who apparently in Central Europe are considered real myths (the guy had at least a dozen of their DVD, I'm even including the Hippopotamus). Meanwhile, every new person we meet, the friend I went down there could not tell the story of my match against the bouncer, which has now become something of a legend. It ends up that I will become a kind of Andy Kaufman (if you've seen Man on the moon ).

My dream life is rather more developed than ever. I dreamed a lot of things: sex dreams, weird dreams (my brother was carrying around a Paris that was not Paris, bus, and then the driver disappeared and I put I driving with a kind of joystick round), even more strange dreams (a giant octopus that lowers the Musée d'Orsay, and all who take refuge on the species of large rocks, while on a giant flood - do not ask We guessed that these scenarios with the marine museum ...). Then I also wanted to develop a subject for a film with not remember who was there, and suddenly I was thinking about the lighting of a road movie on a motorcycle around Europe, with references and innuendo De André, De Gregori and Guccini: type at some point we go to hell the main character in Genoa on Via del Campo. [...] I must be crazy

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Pieces: Chapter V (Household , Dublin, marianz against the bouncer)

[5] - 16/9/2008, from a personal email

[...]

My August was, on balance, pretty boring. Apart from the brackets of some lonely day in Dublin, I worked at the museum, and made some out from time to time. In mid-August my roommates (who were already successors to the original occupants) are matches and I had to find new roommates. I very labored, but eventually I found two, except that I definitely missed the shot, and now they are unhappy with having choices. Two drunken youths who live at night and very little during the day, falling early in the morning making a lot of revelry, leading people to stay at home, and have a disorderly sexual life with men and women. Even in my house, and even when I try to sleep. Now seems to have subsided, but the slightest thing wrong I guess Sbrocco and kicked ass.
The problem perhaps is that I'm getting old, and I more and more sour. Not that I ever was a philanthropist. But perhaps this solitude too long, and this uncertainty in my life, they begin to weigh. Here I do not know what I'm doing exactly. I continue to sew the museum, and in his free time sleeping, or I lose it on the internet. I'd like to activate a bit ', to do something, to react, but I can not. And then I wonder if I'm here because I like it, or because I was running away from something, and I think the most likely truth is that both things are true.

I bought and I did bring a lot of books, but we'll see if I can read them. Without lead, because I had the pleasure of hosting a few days my mother and my brother. I made them walk a lot, and I've also brought in Indian food. If you come in November, will also lead you to eat Indian in my neighborhood is a kind of obligation, there are only shops and Indian restaurants (actually, Sri Lankans, but oh well ...). Spending a few days with my mother and me faretllo relaxed but the two days immediately after I have gone crazy with my coiquiline half, but maintaining an Olympian calm calm calm I made a speech where he revealed my intention to throw them out. We said that a second chance should be given to all and now we'll see how things go in the second half of this month.

Sometimes I cook to relax. Almost the first dishes only reality. Tagliatelle alla Bolognese, baked rice pudding with sausage gravy and peas, penne with salmon, pasta and lentil curry pasta with cabbage and baked (not fine, however, came in second on the right of the reality ...); with tomato provolone (provolone course scope my mom). [...]

In Dublin, however, I spent a lot of money in Guinness. At a certain time left to do is to do is go around the pubs, because there are hundreds. But very much alive, lots of live music, and even if they are enough attractions, the indigenous presence is always there, and it is warm. There were a couple of nights when I just made the idiot with strangers and unknown in the pub. There were, however, also times when I attacked what of sadness that after a while 'beer starts to get into fights with enthusiasm, and sometimes wins. In general, however, I would say, that was nice. Among
[...] some day I will still take a 3-4 days of vacation time I go to Bratislava. I go there with a friend, and we are a friend of his, and the program is rather to celebrate ... I do not know if maybe escapes even a trip to Vienna, which is an hour's train ... but this time I will not predict anything.

Paris starts to fall. The evening is the earliest, and the clothes are getting longer and weigh down. It also has its own charm in reality, and so I had not seen it yet. It 's the first time in four years that I see in September, at the gates of autumn. Who knows how it will be in October. Not that it much more time to walk, I move to work in the morning I sleep much the night I'm up late. I even stopped writing for a long time. Every time I tell myself that I have to start over, but then I do not. It took me time to even write to you.
I have in mind a scheme of the novel done only by email, epistolary novel type of new generation. Would be divided into two parts, one called Sent Items, and other mail received. The protagonist is a guy that you do not know anything, disappeared, and which shows the registration of the e-mail to understand something more.

Then there are the evenings. I am very exited with a friend of mine Tuscany, in August, and now he has gone on vacation for a month (the best scenes with him that the two of us sing Captain stretched out loud in the deserted Parisian night), but returned instead to another friend of mine was two months in Italy (the same one that I will go to Slovakia), and now I go out a lot with him. A few nights ago I had a fight in a bar with a bouncer, and despite the very tense atmosphere, come to think after a scene was not without a comically grotesque blatantly wrong that I have a beer on me in this great big man to me twice, visibly angry, and after that wants to kill me. Two days later I wanted to enter the bar in front, always for this story, and there was the first bar bouncer who knows how I had seen standing in the dark move (who knows what will lead me to dream) and indicated by waving not let me. After a quarter of an hour and a council of the two bar bouncer (against me) and the owner of the second bar, with my friends (who were already inside) came out to see what was happening and to calm myself, I finally have ushered.

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Pieces: Chapter IV (Thoughts drunk, variations on the theme and digressions)

[...] [4] - 23:07:08, notebook

so long that I do not write ... The excitement of a new book, hundreds of blank pages to fill, and alcohol accumulated at three passes in the night: why we wanted to make me start again? They are sweating, too much for the dance, and perhaps smell, who knows, I do not have consciousness of my odors or smells, like the protagonist of Suskind's Perfume I have not even smell anything, but certainly I have a fire inside that is not and only one alcohol is a fire burning so many things together: a great desire that together make the same burning flame.
In this period of silence so many things, and none have happened. No special event, no unexpected encounter, no auspicious or inauspicious incident has radically changed my life. Rest of the same place, with the same job, to say the same sentences with the same doubts, the same indecision. A story in summary of what was then a few months ago does not differ too: indeed, in essence, would be the same story, always the same story building. Happiness at times and uncertain future, and it is always the case, it seems almost a universal rule that still applies. The script does not seem to change, but change the photo, the secondary characters, the scenery seems to have something different despite the apparent immobility. Above all, there are new variations on the theme, and new digressions.

Variations on a theme: change the girls but the result does not change, as there was a transient property. Human relations and knowledge of various kinds and types, no significant innovation. The interpersonal difficulty is the same for 25 years, and exceeded it seems so far away. The mood then it is always so variable, cheerful look drunk bitterness Leopardi all shades and ragging are possible even within a few minutes. Only with myself, as always, I'm bored, I do not have a book to read maybe a girl who eat the brain, an uncoordinated dance music or shouting up to running out of the lungs. Well, I am still me, neither more nor less, useless to hope for something different. Waiting for Crypton, have not Clark Kent turns into Superman, then oh well, in this case was the opposite, it is known (cf. Kill Bill vol. 2), who plays Superman is degrading to Clark Kent. What it is: they are always away from both. I live my life in Paris in the middle of uncertainty, without any future program, while imagination as much. Super-doctor, super-tramp, publisher or apprentice sorcerer's apprentice, then everything changes, there is no role for me in the cast of winners, perhaps one of the beautiful losers, if there has been something beautiful here, in my day in my life so anonymously. Most
digression that instead I programmed in this life so devoid of plot were days in Morocco, the apotheosis of everything that contemporary phenomenon called tourism these days I will briefly, very quoting elsewhere, in another time. Of course tourists from these regions have not changed anything in me, no experience of life has handed me a different, new, to our old (and much loved by me) West. Too little time, sure. And too many attempts to fuck me money. I come out more skeptical than before, I had not even taken into sublet the barrel of Diogenes. But the taste for travel remains strong, and the desire to move to other places, this insatiable hunger for new places to see, still is. Even the digression Nouva after all, refers to old needs.

The old and new, in the end, I sides of the same false coin. Where falsehood is inevitable, even in things: past and future are so close together, but this is changing in every situation, and is now passed, there is almost as past and is therefore useless. Maybe I'm just drunk thoughts, but it's worth to get them, put them in black and white. How much instinctive joy every time a thought flows, overflowing even, good or bad, and incalanaliamo within the banks of these white sheets. Writing is the only true satisfaction that the world can still give me after I did so as the nature are psychologically very fragile.
Speaking of what is past, and sometimes remain as present, the future seems to call to find their own dignity, maybe even through which can be conditioned. I have lots of future ahead of me. Infiniti, maybe. There will be one that satisfies me? Maybe my best I have yet to build the future from a better present. Year after year, this is such a better future, for now, and never becomes the present. I convert almost too irrational to eschatological beliefs.
Only dreams keep me satisfied, and even more ...

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Pieces: Chapter III (Moby Dick)

[3] - 16/7/2008, from a personal email

[...] As for me, I'm reading now almost a month Moby Dick (too too long), and continuing with the usual museum. Today I had a very contradictory situation: I did an interview for an internship (where I was perfect), but I can not take because I am a student and can not make any agreement stage ... This is a strange world ... and I feel older, me too.

For the rest, today begins the film festival en plein air, but this year that you pay, you cursed, all other years it was always was free. Tonight I'm going to see me Lulu, with Louise Brooks.

If not, tell you that. My life is in a state of calm (shit, I infects Moby Dick!), And does not move an inch. Nothing new. I think I have a mind to give me maximum time, if nothing has happened yet, I decided to rentrare. Although I have no reason to rentrare. [...] We'll see what happens, as always.

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Pieces: Chapter II (Morocco)

[...] [2] - 11/7/2008, from a personal email

Hello [...],

tell you that .... is a bit 'of time that are blocked, in all: in what I'm doing here in Paris, inspiration, relationships.
After six months here at home I changed roommates and now my balance is completely changed and I have not yet adapted. Do not write messages and emails from if not too much time: I figured that I have not written even a line of journey to Morocco. And then reappeared dissatisfaction fund, the more I try to overcome the more I see not one, particularly in terms of relationships.
For the rest, I am continuing to work at the museum. In general, everything is resolved to tell people how much they cost, to explain how they work, and answer questions like where are the toilets, where are the Impressionists, van Gogh where he is, where are the escalators, or send them to the information desk when they ask things that I do not know or do not want to answer. Oh well, basically it gets worse.

I started looking for a job for the fall, but everything is resolved to accept offers of internships. If all goes "well", so at most I find myself with yet another stage to go, hoping that maybe for once, past exploitation, I assume. To return to Italy I have no intention at the moment, and no reason to.

I have little motivation at this time, I do not know why, or maybe yes. Is there something I'm missing.

My trip to Morocco, you wanted to know. Sympathetic, but basically nothing more: the circumstances were not the most favorable. The first day I arrived in Rabat (where I was basic to my friend) about midnight, and at that time the only thing you can do in Morocco is going to sleep. So after the rumors of ritual I went to sleep.
first real day I went to Meknes. In reality, the place where you should go would be Fez, but it is too far from Rabat (Meknes am already two hours by train). In any case, my friend could not get away from work and I had to go alone. Solo Traveller in Morocco means that every two minutes you stop to try to tap money. I've been told a thousand times welcome to Morocco, where I was asked a thousand times, thousand times and tried to give me directions (sometimes quite imaginary) to be my guide ... I mean you can not turn calm and I made the visit quite stressed. The only time I did give an indication of a type, I found out after a few seconds it was a seller, which of course then he "showed" his store from which I could not get out (after a quarter ' now type) without buying a carpet ... Among other things, was also the evening of Italy and France, which I saw on big-screen live on Al Jazeera ....
Second day, I remained in Rabat to walk around the city. Unexceptional, fairly modern, being the capital ... In short, nothing picturesque, whereas it was Meknès, but stressful. Bella the Casbah, but otherwise nothing really shocking. It seems to be down in Sicily.
Third day, we all went to the sea. My friend has run away from work, and we went to the beach with her roommate and a friend of them indigenous. Bello: my first swim in the ocean. In short day of total relaxation and total far-nothing.
fourth day, we leave. Greetings all, I take the train to Casablanca. Casablanca it's not the city of the film: a modern city, fairly anonymous. Some beautiful avenue in some beautiful building, but all more or less reassembly, and almost nothing else to see. The "medina" (the old part of town surrounded by walls, with all suk, and in general usually the most picturesque part of each city and Moroccan Arabic in general) is set to that of one of the Rabat more modern and less interesting in Morocco. The same Moroccan friend of my friend told me that there's nothing to see Casablanca and that is not a city for tourists. And oh well. But I had a good meal of fried fish. At my friend's house instead there was the cleaning lady / cook Moroccan, so I could eat local, and is very good as a kitchen. Except that there is in Paris ...
Time to go to Marrakesh there was not too too far away. And everyone tells me that the best part of Morocco is further south, but oh well. I always travel to where I can get the bases and then that's okay, it was a nice trip anyway. Photos I have not made many, the most interesting but I would have been able to do so I did not trust in Meknes pull out the camera, you know ...

So much for the trip to Morocco. I have seen several movies lately, there was the Film Festival with two entrances €, and I saw eight movies in two days ... All small films in Italy certainly will not leave anything, plus two American movies that I had recovered ( Into the wild and No Country for Old Men, both very nice) and spent an animated film at Cannes ( Waltz with Bashir : a masterpiece) but I do not know if it will pass in Italy.

And now I leave you, I hope to have recovered a bit 'of Lost Tales.
I am sending you a big hug and a kiss strong

Mariano

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Pieces: Chapter I (June, Dov ' were you?)

[1] - Undated (June), notebook

are days of alternating mood and alternates luck, a bit 'as always. Six months without trials, and now I know that I work for a living, but I do not know if I live for something. Stopped the exercise of the mind, mortified the use of the body, what remains for me a human? In Paris, at least in a beautiful thriving garden.
For several days the spectacle of joy mellifluous eternal, unconditional, unchanging, the parody of a rosy world where everything is beautiful and the shock triumph and kisses, along with music unbearable, it makes me nervous. Have I a soul at the bottom from unredeemed Ebenezer Scrooge. Meanwhile, certain illusions that I had continued, despite everything, to cultivate, they are tired sag on their own. pitturiam the Roses. The waiver sad, which have not arrived, I feel closer still.

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pieces - Introduction

no place for several months. I always get the impression that this blog is not read by anyone, and if this gives me a little 'more room to tell because the cocks my other side does not help me at times to overcome the terror of the blank page .
In recent months I've actually written something diary. A couple of lines on various notebooks, and some email. I made a selection of "parts" scattered, which back here, to recap what I have done, written, conceived, in recent times. I allowed myself the freedom to draw from my private EpiTest, deleting any reference in the email that was purely personal or related to my destination. Hoping to come back soon want to write here directly.