MIX It's been so long that I almost don't recall how it feels.
In less than a week I'll be running again, or would I feel so just because I'll be doing something about my dream.
It's been really too long since I last actually thought about it.
In a person like me everything is really mized together.
I'm not splitted between my emotional life and my (wannabe) career.
Maybe cause a person like me couldn't really chose any other path but one which would mix together passins emotion and the pragmaticism of a job.
This path I feel is about emotions. The more you give people the more they give you.
And it's unbelievable the energy that can be trasnfered from a crowd of people towards the idealized icon of their dreams.
Cause as I always said, that's what this is about. The Dreams Factory.
I didn't chose this like chiildren with the ideal job ("I'll be a fireman, I'll be a dancer"), I didn't even chose my degree with all those meanings a person should consider before... I just had no idea what to do with my life.
Then this came to me, not like I nedeed to find a way to do something with my life, more like a natural evolution, transformation of my life.
Because if there was something I've always been about, that was music.
The 60s music in my childhood, the church's choir and the 8yrs old girlie-singer-wannabe, the travelling for shows from 12yrs old on, the songs written at 16, the demo dreamed at 18, then this.
You need 99% of luck to be on stage. No matter how good you are.
You at least need just 50%-60% luck, and the rest you can learn, to be back.stage.
And it's likely that the more you learn, the higer your potential become eventually.
And so this path chose me more than I wanted it. That was just the natural evolution of what my life has been.
Maybe that's why I don't feel this strong line splitting my personal life from my studying/career life.
Because It's all he same thing, it's all about dreams and emotions.
I don't know if it's just this kind of business or id that's just me because i really care.
That's why maybe I feel so distant from the way my former lives his life. He must be a different person from a contest to another.
Maybe that was even cause in his average world people kis not so taken and dedicated to emotional side but only practic.
Mine is so not lieke that, It never was and It'll never be.
I'm not a "switch-person". I don't have to switch myself from a contest to another, and I certaintly don't left people behind cause of my practic life.
I don't have this different lives.
He used to decide he was about work... and then his mind was set on that, it was almost impossible to let him even see other things.
I really mean "see". He didn't see anything beyond his practical life made of job and studies. He didn't know about emotional, and to be that he requires to take distance from his practical side,and switch back and forward.
I'm still me, anyway anytime. Well except when I lost myself obviously.
Music came along as the only possible way to come to me in a so natural way.
And from the moment I started thinking about it in a concrete way I couldn't figure myself in a better place.
So this should be practical if it's about work and studies, but for me it's not.
For me it's part of the dream, my dream is emotional, emotional because as I was all feeling when i was under a stage along with thousands of people with my eyes sparkling, or when I was singing my songs, I wanna so all of this becuse of that feeling.
I know what it did to me and I want it to keep on to change and fill life of other kids and people just like it was for me.
Since I realized all of this I've done my best to walk on this path, well as the dreamer I am, still am.
I did my best, really best... maybe another thing that was killing me in Ireland during the whole last year was even the absence of something related to this, to music biz and to my chance to get into it. That took hope off of me even for my future, not just for my love.
Good thing is... now maybe as everything in me is waking up, this is waking up as well.
There's this quite important paper in Ireland, the only one which did something about people who wants to enter the music biz... just like i did in my years in Milan.
Maybe starting that I will start again as well.
As I am already doing.
It's all emotional.
I'm all emotion.