Disappointed by People
People never really stops disappointing me.
It could be that I expect they to reach too high standars maybe... but come on... sometimes it's just they're really disappointing.
I'm disappointing myself as well so welcom to the club.
But at least try, I've tried.
While instead some of them just... I don't know... care for other just because of the good things they can get.
Not just materal, even feelings.
And then it's just like "ok the time i needed to fell so it's past, bye bye"
I't just so damn unright.
Then they complain cause I can't really care to people anymore.
But How could If people it's just so self-centerd and lunatic?
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Picnik Couple Sayings
When you do not know what to do with yourself ...
you just redesign yourself... or your digital self anyway.
So that's how after 6 month since i registered the domain, Liquid-Gold.net come to the light.
The reason?
I needed to remind to myself that I'm still a skilled webdesigner devoted to the w3c and to the zen garden.
And I needed my annual version of the lights in november by the way... so here it is...
Isn't it cute?
I'm Would like to talk talking about the mother I am, Is not I?
you just redesign yourself... or your digital self anyway.
So that's how after 6 month since i registered the domain, Liquid-Gold.net come to the light.
The reason?
I needed to remind to myself that I'm still a skilled webdesigner devoted to the w3c and to the zen garden.
And I needed my annual version of the lights in november by the way... so here it is...
Isn't it cute?
I'm Would like to talk talking about the mother I am, Is not I?
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Bottomless Pool Partymovie Clip
what is right (?)
I happened to think of the situation "inconvenient"
Those in which one finds no alternative but seems good to come out well.
those in which the output is the "best of a bad game, but where this option is very delicate.
The "best of a bad game" is not among the things that I think most particularly honest in general, but if there is an underlying sense of morality is not likely to become a "dangerous falsehood" I did not think I would ever
considering these differences, but I did not think much of the rest of my life was going in directions in which I found to go.
If you have a good sense of right and wrong if you happen to find themselves in unpleasant situations can be managed with the above technique without risking damage. If, for example
quesllo that your boss decided you just do not go down but you are not yet in a position to argue it can also feel good to say "that idea is brilliant" pensado "that crap" Why
while if it is not particularly unapersona close to you as a human being can not always and necessarily receive all the best to you.
E 'complex know ... is like saying that "the truth keep it for people who deserve it, those that do not except with the proper respect and proper care ... also enable you to do" the best of a bad job "
Worldwide does not seem correct ... but if you have a good moral is perfectly manageable without the risk of ending up nell'esagerazione.
You know when to say "enough", where a thing is unacceptable and where not and to what extent.
there people who never know where to stay, where life can be a huge lie against any human being around him, and for which therefore a "concession" as the one above can be an excuse to do even worse.
Often the "false kindness" is a Necessary Evil ...
I now find myself in an uncomfortable situation ... I have to choose whether to apply this "necessary evil" or go straight spun behind the Justice with a capital G.
In the past, and in an environment favorable to me and naturally I would not post much the problem.
You have to deal with a person you do not like, you smile and pull ahead and finish them.
Now I do not know if it's my spirit or my teaching ossesisone being "right" until they get out of this unhealthy environment, but I seglie scruples to implement this behavior with the same weight as before. Even something so small. Why
absolute truth and in justice if a person is nasty I do not lie being nice, even if part of the "best of a bad game"
would not be true and it is wrong!
do not know if I say this because I fear of being contaminated by the lies or because I worry about being a good example of righteousness ...
but the solution .... as would be obvious to believe ... was the mother.
Mom is my example of righteousness, I saw her sometimes having to make the best of a bad game, but this is never exaggerated costing his integrity or his honesty and sincerity.
And she "says" that in fact at times to survive is the adage "if you can not fake it can not reign." The difference is said to believe that she obviously takes into account the fact that this is true until it hurt someone, someone not only yourself.
I see tend to plug the holes that something was viewed from different perspectives, perhaps because I've seen out of perspective really grace of God to be considered just, and yet exist.
there are people who every day comes and it's a different person depending on what is most useful, and tell falsehoods about the lives deceiving the people only for their own advantage or sometimes just for fun careless of the consequences that these things can have .
people would use phrases such as that of my mother as an "apology and explanation for their actions.
But I think the glaring difference between the quiet life and trampled everything that appears before us.
In this perspective, perhaps I feel less guilty on the one hand ... picked the "necesary evil" and stay at my house, my house even with an unwelcome guest for four days, rather than a double bed and breakfast where I'd eat the liver, repeating what is unfair to have to leave my house and due to a person who should not even set foot in my house.
By "us" simple folk and good that comes from the countryside, doing "the best of a bad job" in such cases does not hurt anybody, maybe a bit digrignamon teeth us ... but amen.
are reluctant in doing so only because in this sense does not it follow the absolutist principles of "truth at any cost" and are in the position where it is important to be true to themselves and their ideas to embody a position of life.
Well ... the point is that the absolute justice I should pack up and go to rodermi the liver in a hotel ... but for my quiet life ... if the two evils are of the same size .. might as well choose the home ... that no matter how unpleasant it is still contaminated by the presence of a solid foothold with which to lock my room.
Maybe people can not be changed nor Salveti, and maybe it want me to erect "an example of goodness" is iniutile. Qquindi end even he would have to make a martyr very stupid.
I happened to think of the situation "inconvenient"
Those in which one finds no alternative but seems good to come out well.
those in which the output is the "best of a bad game, but where this option is very delicate.
The "best of a bad game" is not among the things that I think most particularly honest in general, but if there is an underlying sense of morality is not likely to become a "dangerous falsehood" I did not think I would ever
considering these differences, but I did not think much of the rest of my life was going in directions in which I found to go.
If you have a good sense of right and wrong if you happen to find themselves in unpleasant situations can be managed with the above technique without risking damage. If, for example
quesllo that your boss decided you just do not go down but you are not yet in a position to argue it can also feel good to say "that idea is brilliant" pensado "that crap" Why
while if it is not particularly unapersona close to you as a human being can not always and necessarily receive all the best to you.
E 'complex know ... is like saying that "the truth keep it for people who deserve it, those that do not except with the proper respect and proper care ... also enable you to do" the best of a bad job "
Worldwide does not seem correct ... but if you have a good moral is perfectly manageable without the risk of ending up nell'esagerazione.
You know when to say "enough", where a thing is unacceptable and where not and to what extent.
there people who never know where to stay, where life can be a huge lie against any human being around him, and for which therefore a "concession" as the one above can be an excuse to do even worse.
Often the "false kindness" is a Necessary Evil ...
I now find myself in an uncomfortable situation ... I have to choose whether to apply this "necessary evil" or go straight spun behind the Justice with a capital G.
In the past, and in an environment favorable to me and naturally I would not post much the problem.
You have to deal with a person you do not like, you smile and pull ahead and finish them.
Now I do not know if it's my spirit or my teaching ossesisone being "right" until they get out of this unhealthy environment, but I seglie scruples to implement this behavior with the same weight as before. Even something so small. Why
absolute truth and in justice if a person is nasty I do not lie being nice, even if part of the "best of a bad game"
would not be true and it is wrong!
do not know if I say this because I fear of being contaminated by the lies or because I worry about being a good example of righteousness ...
but the solution .... as would be obvious to believe ... was the mother.
Mom is my example of righteousness, I saw her sometimes having to make the best of a bad game, but this is never exaggerated costing his integrity or his honesty and sincerity.
And she "says" that in fact at times to survive is the adage "if you can not fake it can not reign." The difference is said to believe that she obviously takes into account the fact that this is true until it hurt someone, someone not only yourself.
I see tend to plug the holes that something was viewed from different perspectives, perhaps because I've seen out of perspective really grace of God to be considered just, and yet exist.
there are people who every day comes and it's a different person depending on what is most useful, and tell falsehoods about the lives deceiving the people only for their own advantage or sometimes just for fun careless of the consequences that these things can have .
people would use phrases such as that of my mother as an "apology and explanation for their actions.
But I think the glaring difference between the quiet life and trampled everything that appears before us.
In this perspective, perhaps I feel less guilty on the one hand ... picked the "necesary evil" and stay at my house, my house even with an unwelcome guest for four days, rather than a double bed and breakfast where I'd eat the liver, repeating what is unfair to have to leave my house and due to a person who should not even set foot in my house.
By "us" simple folk and good that comes from the countryside, doing "the best of a bad job" in such cases does not hurt anybody, maybe a bit digrignamon teeth us ... but amen.
are reluctant in doing so only because in this sense does not it follow the absolutist principles of "truth at any cost" and are in the position where it is important to be true to themselves and their ideas to embody a position of life.
Well ... the point is that the absolute justice I should pack up and go to rodermi the liver in a hotel ... but for my quiet life ... if the two evils are of the same size .. might as well choose the home ... that no matter how unpleasant it is still contaminated by the presence of a solid foothold with which to lock my room.
Maybe people can not be changed nor Salveti, and maybe it want me to erect "an example of goodness" is iniutile. Qquindi end even he would have to make a martyr very stupid.
Wednesday, October 5, 2005
Why Do My Legs Burn And Ache
Later That Day I Got to think about ... Families ... The room
Or better ... Today several things make me think of the families. And listening to what you say I wonder how it is possible that there are families so far away from what I had.
There are parents that sometimes complicate rather than simplify the lives of children, do not know if that is whether the adage "the end justifies the means" but from what I have experienced the negative media will lead to results consistent with them.
Example: My mother is one of the best and most Paciocco people I have ever known, and so full of love I wonder if it manufactures the night. Ciononostate there have been situations in which little has tried to use "the stick" with me instead of always carrots.
Once when I was in second / eighth grade I started to have problems in going to school I did not want to go
I've collected a number of absence that would feel in believing that I have been promoted anyway.
One morning, in addition to the various threats to "the new room do not deliver!" My mother took a fazoletto, dipped it in water and was good for a squeeze on his face.
Now I do not know if anyone here is a parent .... but I strongly advise never to do so.
Maybe it's my personality, or perhaps in the spirit of preservation of a child, that gesture made me angry so much that even if I was awake now I stayed in bed for sneaking in spite of what I had just done.
Maybe I'm a little stubborn ok, and in fact the school is something that a child could not opine "is right, is wrong," but from my experience I have seen that if the child has a particular ass to have a well-functioning brain the fit can also type .. skipping of high school ... how? If you have a mother like mine.
My mother has always supported me in everything I do not know why but he always knew (thought?) That I was intelligent and that I knew what was best to do.
So in extreme cases such as I, I did in high school. No sir, no.
I started the first year, and it was an environment so hostile that I was a mini-collapse, ie ... when I was agitated or something I did not like and I could not help it ... al'indietro and I fell unconscious.
enough defensive part of my body right?
So I retired the first year .... but so what? My mom and my grandmother had put the whole board in the second year of the Firstborn pay me to go to school first ... mica waste so I could make him?
So my mother a year later, without any incazzatura without ever telling me "stupid, decerebration, stupid" but since it was nothing but understanding made me go to one of those schools x "recovery school years" understood
to the course even there the four years that followed were managed in this way: about one month of lessons among all the scattered little lesson in a year + exam in June and school
rest of the year for me to learn and do what I seemed.
Now it is not in high school and never having been before a summit in the socialization is not coming out every day that God sends in place I did? The first 2 years were spent on radio, concerts, travel to Italy / Europe (always with mum taking me and she was glad her as well) and form what would unknowingly been the basis of my career carrieristico today.
Since July 4, 1997, things changed and I had a computer ... and with all that time to experiment ... also changed my address a year later in the school "matched recognized" and made the computer. And if I have a degree from computer expert today is thanks to years spent on the x on my pc, not on what they've tried to teach me.
In fact, the "more carrot" is fine if the parent happens to have a baby's ass automatically responsible and intelligent enough to understand at any age a sense of right and wrong and then what should be done / not done. This never happens in its entirety, but may still happen that there are children who "learn fast", and always encouraged to do so because according to their reasoning, not by "eh aves fate another day if that, eh vabbe is wrong," saying implicitly, but the child is not stupid and enters and is rooted in its head so that he is a mistake.
So the moral is that my mother, right or wrong in me has always left click, but not with the psychological burden of "pure choice for you but then I am your cabbages do not come to ask for help if you miss" no nothing like that, My mother has always been "whatever I choose will support you because I love you" She sometimes feared
have not done a good job with me as it was "too good"
People, you never know why, it tends to say that if you are not harsh and cruel to children do not educate them well. I think it is an excuse invented by parents who wanted to be a very small percentage of parents to direct / shape something.
My mother did not really know what he wanted, but what he showed me love sconfitato is a total and completely "unselfish."
And I'm not particularly immodest, I think ... but seeing what was around me would say that he made the best choice to behave as it did generate a very good human being.
Feelings of guilt and the authorities, as I've seen them applied, and frustrate deficit the natural evolution of people, and people are not seedlings, if you put a hard wood to grow them in the direction you want to bend them too, but something will come out distorted.
maybe I'd even cut back in all directions in which I grew up as I wanted. Yet it is still better.
not know if it's on my mother's, or whether I am a human being with controcazzi. I think it's a combination, in the sense that you have to have skills that I probably have had to not destroy itself with freedom, but should also have someone like my mother.
Or better ... Today several things make me think of the families. And listening to what you say I wonder how it is possible that there are families so far away from what I had.
There are parents that sometimes complicate rather than simplify the lives of children, do not know if that is whether the adage "the end justifies the means" but from what I have experienced the negative media will lead to results consistent with them.
Example: My mother is one of the best and most Paciocco people I have ever known, and so full of love I wonder if it manufactures the night. Ciononostate there have been situations in which little has tried to use "the stick" with me instead of always carrots.
Once when I was in second / eighth grade I started to have problems in going to school I did not want to go
I've collected a number of absence that would feel in believing that I have been promoted anyway.
One morning, in addition to the various threats to "the new room do not deliver!" My mother took a fazoletto, dipped it in water and was good for a squeeze on his face.
Now I do not know if anyone here is a parent .... but I strongly advise never to do so.
Maybe it's my personality, or perhaps in the spirit of preservation of a child, that gesture made me angry so much that even if I was awake now I stayed in bed for sneaking in spite of what I had just done.
Maybe I'm a little stubborn ok, and in fact the school is something that a child could not opine "is right, is wrong," but from my experience I have seen that if the child has a particular ass to have a well-functioning brain the fit can also type .. skipping of high school ... how? If you have a mother like mine.
My mother has always supported me in everything I do not know why but he always knew (thought?) That I was intelligent and that I knew what was best to do.
So in extreme cases such as I, I did in high school. No sir, no.
I started the first year, and it was an environment so hostile that I was a mini-collapse, ie ... when I was agitated or something I did not like and I could not help it ... al'indietro and I fell unconscious.
enough defensive part of my body right?
So I retired the first year .... but so what? My mom and my grandmother had put the whole board in the second year of the Firstborn pay me to go to school first ... mica waste so I could make him?
So my mother a year later, without any incazzatura without ever telling me "stupid, decerebration, stupid" but since it was nothing but understanding made me go to one of those schools x "recovery school years" understood
to the course even there the four years that followed were managed in this way: about one month of lessons among all the scattered little lesson in a year + exam in June and school
rest of the year for me to learn and do what I seemed.
Now it is not in high school and never having been before a summit in the socialization is not coming out every day that God sends in place I did? The first 2 years were spent on radio, concerts, travel to Italy / Europe (always with mum taking me and she was glad her as well) and form what would unknowingly been the basis of my career carrieristico today.
Since July 4, 1997, things changed and I had a computer ... and with all that time to experiment ... also changed my address a year later in the school "matched recognized" and made the computer. And if I have a degree from computer expert today is thanks to years spent on the x on my pc, not on what they've tried to teach me.
In fact, the "more carrot" is fine if the parent happens to have a baby's ass automatically responsible and intelligent enough to understand at any age a sense of right and wrong and then what should be done / not done. This never happens in its entirety, but may still happen that there are children who "learn fast", and always encouraged to do so because according to their reasoning, not by "eh aves fate another day if that, eh vabbe is wrong," saying implicitly, but the child is not stupid and enters and is rooted in its head so that he is a mistake.
So the moral is that my mother, right or wrong in me has always left click, but not with the psychological burden of "pure choice for you but then I am your cabbages do not come to ask for help if you miss" no nothing like that, My mother has always been "whatever I choose will support you because I love you" She sometimes feared
have not done a good job with me as it was "too good"
People, you never know why, it tends to say that if you are not harsh and cruel to children do not educate them well. I think it is an excuse invented by parents who wanted to be a very small percentage of parents to direct / shape something.
My mother did not really know what he wanted, but what he showed me love sconfitato is a total and completely "unselfish."
And I'm not particularly immodest, I think ... but seeing what was around me would say that he made the best choice to behave as it did generate a very good human being.
Feelings of guilt and the authorities, as I've seen them applied, and frustrate deficit the natural evolution of people, and people are not seedlings, if you put a hard wood to grow them in the direction you want to bend them too, but something will come out distorted.
maybe I'd even cut back in all directions in which I grew up as I wanted. Yet it is still better.
not know if it's on my mother's, or whether I am a human being with controcazzi. I think it's a combination, in the sense that you have to have skills that I probably have had to not destroy itself with freedom, but should also have someone like my mother.
Monday, October 3, 2005
White Chocolate Alpine
53
Who enters the room 53?
Today is Monday, is a day of lessons in Italian, even if the 1 and 2 October were weekend so maybe it was still empty, surely someone entered today.
What do you have done things that were left hanging? What has been the provision of furniture, the angel on the window ... my window.
I feel like I should be jealous of a person ... I did and my life was there. It was there that I came back and that's where many things have happened.
E 'from there I opened my journal one evening in December, Christmas when I was alone, when there was nobody, just me locked in my room.
E 'from there I looked out in the hope that I could to find him, when he still did not suspect that the waste of space that he could be in the world.
E 'from there I started to touch people and make friends, and have Vale, and Gabry, and hang out with them, as I had been denied throughout adolescence that it should be made of outputs in the square with friends. As I refused.
E 'from there that I ran the "crazy" and "good guy" to feel everything I ever wanted to be seen as I had imagined, never knowing that I would forget so quickly.
E 'from them that I was leaving at 7 in the morning and returned in the evening at 10 in my first step I was able to do in the music business.
E 'from there that I left in Sanremo, Sanremo to go, to go for the Festival di Sanremo ... March 6, 2004.
E 'from there I clenched my fists and teeth and I had the courage to stand up and be myself after what avveo now / learned from Petra.
E 'from there who left the jam session around the campus with a guitar Hector, my voice and a microphone
E' from there at 4 in the morning and tell her that I could call Gabry for my gift more than 20 years belo was that my Irish-dream me home, even though he was a flash in the pan.
E 'from there we left for the Halloween party, for our happy hours, parties in study hall and terrace
E' from November 1, 2002 that they've started putting up the lights ..
E 'from there that I missed ... what was new and incomprehensible and I'm back myself, but stayed.
E 'from there I wrote, from there I thought, I was talking from there.
E 'from there after the previous two had started my third was, after 1995 and 1999 ...
And now that is no longer mine, that I had not accepted going in another state, removing things from the wall, making boxes, empty and andandomene handing over the keys ...
Now that is no longer the place to Alisha ... I am an orphan and I wonder if there will be people who will understand how much life has been taken in that room in his four walls. How many things have been done in every single square centimeter, how many stories have taken place and lived, how much life has changed.
Who will now know who is living un pezzo di me, e lo terrà dacconto?
Who enters the room 53?
Today is Monday, is a day of lessons in Italian, even if the 1 and 2 October were weekend so maybe it was still empty, surely someone entered today.
What do you have done things that were left hanging? What has been the provision of furniture, the angel on the window ... my window.
I feel like I should be jealous of a person ... I did and my life was there. It was there that I came back and that's where many things have happened.
E 'from there I opened my journal one evening in December, Christmas when I was alone, when there was nobody, just me locked in my room.
E 'from there I looked out in the hope that I could to find him, when he still did not suspect that the waste of space that he could be in the world.
E 'from there I started to touch people and make friends, and have Vale, and Gabry, and hang out with them, as I had been denied throughout adolescence that it should be made of outputs in the square with friends. As I refused.
E 'from there that I ran the "crazy" and "good guy" to feel everything I ever wanted to be seen as I had imagined, never knowing that I would forget so quickly.
E 'from them that I was leaving at 7 in the morning and returned in the evening at 10 in my first step I was able to do in the music business.
E 'from there that I left in Sanremo, Sanremo to go, to go for the Festival di Sanremo ... March 6, 2004.
E 'from there I clenched my fists and teeth and I had the courage to stand up and be myself after what avveo now / learned from Petra.
E 'from there who left the jam session around the campus with a guitar Hector, my voice and a microphone
E' from there at 4 in the morning and tell her that I could call Gabry for my gift more than 20 years belo was that my Irish-dream me home, even though he was a flash in the pan.
E 'from there we left for the Halloween party, for our happy hours, parties in study hall and terrace
E' from November 1, 2002 that they've started putting up the lights ..
E 'from there that I missed ... what was new and incomprehensible and I'm back myself, but stayed.
E 'from there I wrote, from there I thought, I was talking from there.
E 'from there after the previous two had started my third was, after 1995 and 1999 ...
And now that is no longer mine, that I had not accepted going in another state, removing things from the wall, making boxes, empty and andandomene handing over the keys ...
Now that is no longer the place to Alisha ... I am an orphan and I wonder if there will be people who will understand how much life has been taken in that room in his four walls. How many things have been done in every single square centimeter, how many stories have taken place and lived, how much life has changed.
Who will now know who is living un pezzo di me, e lo terrà dacconto?
Sunday, October 2, 2005
Work In One City And Live In Another
Squeaking my nails on a mirror
Lately I can find myself only in anger and bad feelings.
Sometimes I wrote about mirrors, wondering if that is what I became after claiming for all my life long to be a chameleon.
Or simply about loosing subtance while existing only in the reflection of things more than being myself... just easy to adjust.
I can't really say what, once more, but it's still freezing me.
And it's really strange how just being here is sikening me. And the analyzing part seems always more and more complicated.
Too wide or too narrowed? That is really the point actually.
But it's easy not to think of it, isn't it? and that is what is worse.
I'm counting down the days to go away, and yet I don't know where to go then. Now even less than before.
Some time, when I'm really lucid and really me, I honestly hate him.
When it's me again I'm lucid enough not just to see the present but to feel the whole thing, and I really hate him, and what made him like this, and the world who allows people like him to exist.
Sadly these lucid times are less and less... that's why when they comes I remind myself to get ready to run away when the right time will come. That's what I'm counting down the days for.
I don't want to allow myself to be generous this time, to have sympathy or anything.
That's just because I don't want to fill myself with anger and more anger, because doing the right thing, or what it would like to be the right thing for people outside, would fill me with such anger and wickedness that I wouldn't be anyway the good person I would try to be by doing the "right-thing"
I tried it already, with "the-online-slut", it didn't help anyway, I didn't feel anygood, and I didn't really care to be good or not, but my nature made me be so, and I hate that. I don't wanna do the same mistake twice.
But this whole place, this whole situation seems to be made just to destroy me, the real me, not the person, but the soul.
To reduce me to a thin little piece of stone with nothing to say and nothing to think, and nothing to talk about because I'll have nothing left on my mind.
I can't figure out how this happens but it does and it's really the best way to kill me, destroy me to never come back.
I've been so close, so close to my final departure that maybe my fear will keep me away till it's necessary to then be free of this and free of risk.
Till then I gotta remind myself not to close my eyes, not just for one blink.
Lately I can find myself only in anger and bad feelings.
Sometimes I wrote about mirrors, wondering if that is what I became after claiming for all my life long to be a chameleon.
Or simply about loosing subtance while existing only in the reflection of things more than being myself... just easy to adjust.
I can't really say what, once more, but it's still freezing me.
And it's really strange how just being here is sikening me. And the analyzing part seems always more and more complicated.
Too wide or too narrowed? That is really the point actually.
But it's easy not to think of it, isn't it? and that is what is worse.
I'm counting down the days to go away, and yet I don't know where to go then. Now even less than before.
Some time, when I'm really lucid and really me, I honestly hate him.
When it's me again I'm lucid enough not just to see the present but to feel the whole thing, and I really hate him, and what made him like this, and the world who allows people like him to exist.
Sadly these lucid times are less and less... that's why when they comes I remind myself to get ready to run away when the right time will come. That's what I'm counting down the days for.
I don't want to allow myself to be generous this time, to have sympathy or anything.
That's just because I don't want to fill myself with anger and more anger, because doing the right thing, or what it would like to be the right thing for people outside, would fill me with such anger and wickedness that I wouldn't be anyway the good person I would try to be by doing the "right-thing"
I tried it already, with "the-online-slut", it didn't help anyway, I didn't feel anygood, and I didn't really care to be good or not, but my nature made me be so, and I hate that. I don't wanna do the same mistake twice.
But this whole place, this whole situation seems to be made just to destroy me, the real me, not the person, but the soul.
To reduce me to a thin little piece of stone with nothing to say and nothing to think, and nothing to talk about because I'll have nothing left on my mind.
I can't figure out how this happens but it does and it's really the best way to kill me, destroy me to never come back.
I've been so close, so close to my final departure that maybe my fear will keep me away till it's necessary to then be free of this and free of risk.
Till then I gotta remind myself not to close my eyes, not just for one blink.
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